How past trauma actually shows up,
A few weeks after our positive pregnancy test with baby number two, I started to experience an intense jaw and cranial discomfort (tension pattern). Perhaps in another life, without my awareness of how the nervous system works, I would've thought it seemly came out of nowhere.
However, because I view our bodies as a brilliant storage chest full of both growth and experience, as well as unprocessed events that were simply too much to handle at one point in time, I felt a familiar resonance with this tension pattern. It drew me right back to early breastfeeding days with my son. For us, it was a bit of a challenging start, I remember tears from discomfort and receiving less sleep meant I carried the anticipatory tension more than I would've prior to a broken sleep cycle.
With this flood of information I was able to see this tension pattern for what it is. An opportunity to reprocess the stress my body was carrying, a chance to re-pattern so that I can live from the present moment with this next little one instead of repeating the pain of the past.
Without this awareness, it's really common for folks to spiral into stories of aging, chronic pain patterns, and living from the lens of the past.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with this, it's simply not the entire picture!
This week, I invite you to explore where something you experience present day may be tied to a part of you in the past. It could be anything from distress in a close relationship, to tension patterns, to playing small to due to a past traumatic experience. How may you be repeating the cycle versus processing through it for good?
Even I witnessed some apprehension around my tension pattern when it came to the surface, hearing a voice of fear that "this may be my future again." Then I gracefully decided to move past it, to embrace the feelings, fears, and make space to integrate - to become whole with them. Although I know the trajectory of integrative healing well, I still didn't hold any expectations on myself or the discomfort I experienced. I simply allowed myself to be present with the process of feeling, witnessing the beliefs I held, and eventually granting my nervous system new direction.
In time this pattern dissolved completely, and gave me new spacious capacity and awareness to explore my present reality and new experiences.
Bring your patterns to the table this week, there's space to feel and heal here.
Let’s embrace the power of our own internal healing capacity and open new possibilities.
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With love & appreciation,
Dr. Jessica